dilliegal

Balance - what is balance? The dictionary has a ton of meanings but the one I’m seeking is: to bring to a state or position of equipoise (equalibrium).

Hmmmm….balance. I have to say that pretty much most of my life has been OUT of balance, which would explain the excessive weight, the excessive debt, the lost friendships, the lack of direction, etc, etc.  I tend to be obsessive/ complusive. I glob onto one thing and spend most of my energy and attention on that one thing until I burn out on that one thing and other areas of my life suffer for it.

For example, I can easily spend hours perusing Buddyslim forums and blogs and not get to the exercising! I can focus more on planning my meals and exercise and put no effort into actually following the plan I created. You get the point! 

So, I am going to focus on keeping my life as close to centered as possible. I started reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People awhile back but never finished it. I’m going to pick it up again and read it all the way through. That book helps you focus on what matters most and then building your daily life around nurturing those most important areas. Sounds like something I can use right about now.  

I work at my boys’ school. I love being there with them. I love being on the same schedule as them and not having to find daycare when they’re not in school. I love working with most of the kids and most of the adults. I do so many different things each day that it’s impossible to be bored. I love having summers off.

I love school food in all its highly processed, high glycemic index, high fat, high salt, high everything bad glory - so I hate my job! I am in the lunchroom for all the kids’ lunches! I eat lunch after everyone else does. The temptation is so hard most days! I sip on a bottle of water, I chew gum, I nipple on something healthy, but still - it can be hard. I haven’t even mentioned all the little goodies that the staff brings in for birthdays, etc. or the Wednesday lunch buffet that members of staff take turns hosting. Ugh! To be strong for a day is one thing - to stay tough day after day after day is another! :( 

There is a glimmer of hope. I might be able to change my duties. I’m applying for a different position in our school that I think I will enjoy just as much and it would get my out of the lunch room. I think I need to find a mantra that I can repeat to myself and a buddy right there at school to vent to!  I MUST have a plan to get me through everyday!

 On a positive note - I’m 3 lbs lighter today (wohoo, yay me  )

I can’t stand most reality shows. I think they’re degrading, pointless and mostly staged. But I am hooked on the Biggest Loser! Granted, it has its fair share of ridiculous drama. I record it on my dvr and fast-forward through the junk. But the transformations that happen are amazing!! The workouts that they do are unbelievable! Jillian scares me but I can’t stop watching her make grown men cry (my husband even fears her)! That show is really a source of inpsiration and a “get off your lazy pity pot, Andrea” kick in the butt! 

As I check out all of your blogs on Buddy Slim, I’m finding that same kind of inspiration! I am grateful for this site and all of your support!!

I am recovering from my cold and think I can get back on my treadmill tomorrow. My little guy is feeling better, too (yay)!

Andrea

I am unwell today. Working at an elementary school comes with bugs, too! My poor little guy has some other bug, he’s puking. Poor little guy.

No exercise for me today. But also not alot of eating either!

I used to smoke. I quit about 7 years ago, haven’t had even a craving for about 5 years. It took about 14 years from the first time I said “I quit” to that triumphant day 7 years ago. Looks like losing weight is going that same LONG route! I have been overweight for about 12 years now. I have tried so many quick-fix things. The weight-loss product industry really plays on my feelings of wanting to  be new and improved NOW, not wanting to be fat for one more day and not wanting it to be difficult or painful (ha!).

So, I’m hoping this blog and the support that comes with it will help me get past instant gratification mode and move on to long term life changes mode. I don’t want to be obese anymore!!! So here’s my list.

Top 10 Reasons why I hate being overweight:

 10. Shopping for clothes that fit ok is agonizing

   9. Avoiding getting my picture taken because all I can see in them is how fat I am 

   8. Poor quality of sleep

   7. Knowing that I’m shortening my life

   6. Lack of energy

   5. Being a poor role model for my kids

   4. Always feeling just a little uncomfortable with my husband

   3. Aches and pains from carrying all this extra weight

   2. Not participating in fun stuff because I’m too self-conscience

And the #1 reason I hate being overweight……

   1. My poor self-image and low self-esteem

I’m ready to work on this challenge again and take every and any success I have and hold it close to my heart!